7 Things Parents Should Remember

Disclaimer: This is written based on the observations of 24 years old girl who's not even a parent. This is only what she wished parents understand a little bit more about their children. So, no offense.

• I may not be a parent. But if I could give a tips, I would tell that they can't make children do what they want them to do when they are adults

• Even worse, parents shouldn't tell adults how to work on something exactly their own way. The process is children's authority. Better for parents to just enjoy the result

• I may not be a parent today. But I believe children deserve to make choices with their own life. They're not robots. They are growing as adult

• I may not be a parent. But if I could tell, even when parents think they know what's the very best for their children, reconsider. Discuss with them, most importantly, listen to them

• I may not be parent. But I believe adults don't need bosses at home. They need parents to be their best friends. Even when they are against them

• I may  not be a parent. But I know parents afford the best education and environment for the children so that they'll become open-minded. Be prepared, because parents should be open-minded on them as well

• I may not be a parent. But I heard that parents want to grow together and learn everything with their children. Well, in some point, children just want to grow and learn things by them selves. So that one day, they could come home and make their parents proud. 

Children love parents, and parents love children. Always, and we all know it.

Sometimes, parents just worry too much make the children shut down.

To or Not to Have a Dream

We all have dreams.
Since we were kids, we are all taught by our parents, teachers, or family to have a dream, so that we have something to hold on, something to achieve. Some are lucky enough to have a chance to work on their dreams on their own way, and turn them into reality.

A girl named Lana loved singing. She was a great singer with amazing voice. There were so many unwritten songs that could be sung perfectly by her. Someday, he married a guy and had kids, since then she wasn't able to continue singing.

A girl named Luna loved dancing. She was very talented as a dancer while she was young. There was so much to explore on her talent. Someday, her parents told her to stop because they believe dancing might led to some unhealthy midnight life.

A girl named Lina loved painting.She effortlessly created wonderful paintings with her hands. She always put her heart on the painting. Someday, she was offered by other career opportunity and everybody told her to take the job and leave the paintings behind.

They all had dreams. They all had something they love and would work their ass of on it. They all had something they could really put their heart on.

The thing is,
I never really understand..
Why we (especially women) are taught to have a dream while at the end when we grow up we are asked to give it up?

Why can't people let others live their own dreams?

Dear Dance, Sincerely Me.

Today is world dance day. Every year, Solo city celebrates this day by running "Solo Menari 24 Jam", where hundreds and even thousands of dancers are dancing in the city for 24 hours. It's one of the event I really wish I could come and join in. It such a heaven on earth for one day for dancers and artists.

Too bad, this year when most of my beloved DLDC team are performing there, I couldn't join due to some work. *poor me*. They must be doing great there, though. Thus, I'll celebrate this holly dance day by writing my gratitude on what dance has given me this whole time.

• Thank you dance, for teaching me genuinely being honest to myself
• Thank you dance, for asking me to stay on the ground when I try to jump off away
• Thank you dance, for being the most understanding thing even in my saddest moments
• Thank you dance, for showing me that there are still so many good and humble people around
• Thank you dance, for taking me to amazing places
• Thank you dance, for showing me beauty
• Thank you dance, for making me healthy
• Thank you dance, for shaping my body
• Thank you dance, for teaching me how to look deep inside to what I really need and what I really want
• Thank you dance, for keep teaching me how to believe myself
• Thank you dance, for being a sweet reminder when forget to appreciate what I have
• Thank you dance, for making me feel happy about myself. I barely hate myself when I dance
• Thank you dance, for teaching me the difference between real and fake
• Thank you dance, for giving me some more heart to feel (oh yes, some people used to told me I'm heartless)
• Thank you dance, for introducing me to a simple, humble, and loving family
• Thank you dance, for giving me challenges and the trust to handle them all
• Thank you dance, for speaking to me when I mess things up
• Thank you dance, for letting me speak when no words can come out
• Thank you dance, for giving me chances to make my dreams come true
• Thank you dance, for so easily giving me happiness I can never find in any other things

The time I started actively dancing was the time I started to love myself, to know what I want to do, to finally have something that worth the fights, the tears, and the pains. Because at the end, I know dance will always give me more than I expected.

How could I ever leave the dance, then?

Happy world dance day, people!

What Matters in Dancing

There's a time for each purpose under heaven. There's a time to weep, there's a time to mourn, and there's a time to dance - Footloose (2011)

People keep asking why I love dancing. What is it so special in dance?

I remembered my friend compared dance and football. He said “apa enaknya sih nari? Misalnya kalo gue main bola, begitu berhasil ngebobolin ke gawang rasanya kan jelas tuh enaknya, puas banget. Kalo nari apa?”

Here are my statements of what matters in dancing :

1.   I can completely be myself 

2.   I don’t have to care other damn things but the dance

3.   When it’s too hard communicate  my deep feelings, dance it and all around will notice

4.   Dance shows who you are 

5.   There is no right or wrong in dance, it’s just whether it looks good or not good to people 

6.   In choreography, when I can do it right, it feels like something is accomplished  

7.   I only feel pretty when I dance

8.   Dance give me lessons, as in I often realize things while dancing

9.   The feel of togetherness is inevitable. I won't feel alone.
10. Dancing delivers the most delightful feeling

The Second Time You Get A Heartbreak

I happened to randomly find an interesting article entitled “TheSecond Time You Fall in Love” and in fact, it was an honest and fine opinion.

But most people maybe experience more than that. If there is a second time of us falling in love, then there might also be a second time of us get a heartbreak.

In response, here I am writing my version of The Second time You Get A Heartbreak.

The first time you get a heartbreak, the world seems like shutting down. No, it’s only you who shut down. You hardly have proper sleep, bad dreams are haunted, you spend your days keep on wondering all those “why” questions. Soo not easy to make you feel happy while all you ever wanted is being happy with the one that left you.

Then you finally come to a turning point. Here he/she is, your second–time-fall-in-love-guy.

All those feelings written in the article is undoubtedly true, I guess.

But then as what happens in life. There comes the problems, fights, doubts, cries. What seems to be so easy at the beginning, turns into tough times.

Then you get your second heartbreak. This time, you are no more crying and suffering all nights. You are no more pushing yourself to get the answers of those “why’ questions. You just lost.

For a while, you can’t differentiate what is truth and lies.. You don’t trust. You don’t get mad. You don’t blame anyone neither yourself. You don’t have the guts to be in any relationships. You don’t need anyone cheering you up. You fed up hearing those sad songs. You lost for a while.

What you know is, you need to get other ways of happiness for yourself before you shut down.

But life running in circles. There will be times when everything will be back okay.

A Little About You

It's a bliss
When I had no expectation at all, and I got surprised of what universe could threw to me.
It's you.

Meeting you was the most unexpected moment
Knowing you was the most liar imagination I could have
But after all, falling in love with you become my favourite happiness
And when your smell starts lingering on me, it's when you become irresistable

So let's not make any drama
Let's not make any promises
Let's just be us
For I cherish every imperfections of us

Better than Yesterday

This November, I'm officially 22.
I am blessed with so much personal accomplishment.

I've started my new career, by joining myself as an Account Executive at Stratcom Indonesia.
Stratcom is a PR consultant , part of Indopacific Edelman, which is the company I've been imagining stepping in there since I was still a newly innocent student in UI. Here I am, enjoying my job now :)

I am no longer having bad dreams at nights.
No more past popping on my days
I live my life so much happier and lighter than before

I am still dancing. No can do, giving up the dance for career.
I'm trying to keep it balance between dance and career. It is so hard, and it's getting so much harder.
But I still remember when I had this serious talk with my best friend, Dinda Sarasannisa, through BBM.
She asked me "What would you do on your future Ga?"
I answered her spontaneously "Gue mau berkarier dan berkesenian Ndat".
This is the truth : I've never seriously thinking about what I would do on my future before. And when you asked me this, I just said what was the first thing popped on my mind. And now, I found out it's true.
I seriously do want to keep everything in balance. Thank you for inspiring me, Ndat :p

I also just had a super happy short holiday with my family.
it's been a quite a long time since we've had our family holiday just the four of us.
Dad, Mom, Kak Dim, and me had 4 days in Singapore.
This was undoubtedly the best way to refresh my mind before I let my self drowning in working-hours :p

In short, I watch myself on a great path
I'm grateful with what I am, what I do, and what I have.
I'm grateful being surrounded by great family, great friends, great work partners.
I am better than yesterday :)

Flowers Never Fail?

Yang ulang taun, yang mau nembak, yang ngerayain anniversary, yang ngasih selamat atas prestasi, yang minta maaf.. semuanya bisa dilakuin dengan cara kasih bunga.
Is that true that "flowers never fail"?

Buat para lelaki yg doyan unyuk2 dengan memberikan bunga untuk temennya, gebetannya, pacarnya, istrinya, adeknya, ibunya, atau neneknya..
I'd lake to share you guys advice, based only on my own experiences, about thing you need to make sure before giving your beloved ones some flowers..

Ternyata, gue baru menyadari, what excites me the most is the fragrance.

It doesn't really matter what flower it is, what color it is, or how many flowers there are. Because when the flower gives good good good smell , well then your effort works!

Gue ga tau, gue doang atau emang rata-rata cewek begitu dikasih bunga, diam-diam akan menciumi wanginya. Tapi yang pasti, siapa sih yang ngga seneng bunga pemberiannya disimpen di kamaarr.. so when your beloved ones wake up in the morning she can smell a good good and becalming fragrance comes out from your flower? ;)

Soo.. Don't just buy any random flowers for your beloved ones. Kindly make sure the fragrance works out! :)

She Wasn't Here

Idul fitri is the one moment of the year when my family and I gather in our house, when we all spend our memorable holiday
This year we still had the same activities with last year
We still had the same food, same people visited us, same places to go
But I didn't feel like it was still the same.

Because she wasn't sat on that couch watching those bollywood movies
Because she wasn't wearing her beautiful match-colored clothes with her smell I remembered so strongly
Because she wasn't walking around with a stick she held on her hand
Because she wasn't asking me to sit next to her telling all those stories I've heard thousand times
Because she wasn't here, and she won't be here anymore
She already had a better place to stay, close to her husband, in heaven.

I love you, Nek.. I Love you so much.
I just never told you that.
If only I know that last year was the last time we met, I would have hold you as long as I could until your smell lingered on me.

You are the most respected, kind, caring and loving woman I've known.
Every single person in your life loves you.
We all so sad you've left. But we know your love never leave us alone. So do our love for you.

Please keep her happy close to you, God.
She deserved Your happiness, with grand father too.

I love you so much Nenek Bunda. :')

I own Me

I'd like to share this very good writing through my blog.
so inspiring, so interesting, so independent :)


"I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me.
Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it.

I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice,
all my actions, whether they be to others or myself.
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears.
I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.
Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me.
By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts.

I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me,
and other aspects that I do not know,
but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself,
I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me.

However I look and sound, whatever I say and do,
and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me.
If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded.

I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do.
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive,
and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.
I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay."

- Virginia Satir (American Phychologist and Educator, 1916-1988)

Blast from the Past

These past few weeks, I was like living in a roller coaster.
I get up so high and fell down over and over again
I learned another lesson afterward
Ever heard people talking about missing something?

I found out that missing something doesn't always mean wanting the thing back again.

When people tell they miss something in their life, that doesn't always mean they want to get the thing back.
Maybe it's just because they like the feeling, the situation when they had the thing
Maybe it's just because they haven't felt like when they had the thing yet
Maybe it's just because the thing gave them sort of valuable experiences
Maybe it's just because the thing gave them precious moments..

But then, they'll realized some more things that make them don't want to get back

And when this happened, like happened to me.
We could only thank the past  for what they gave us.
And walk strongly.

Like an old saying :

Past is a nice place to visit, but not a place to stay.

So, thank you :)

As Much Love As Old Couples

" Grow old with me! The best is yet to be. The last of life, for which the first is made.  " -Robert Browning

I just watched Live to Dance before I wrote this.
There was a very old couple became the contestant.



Dalam sekejap gue langsung merasa sirik.
It was so nice seeing them dancing energetically when they are 68 years old already

Basically, I loooveeee old couples.
I love seeing so much love they share 
I love seeing old couples doing activities together, jogging, singing, laughing,or walking around the park (or mall, since Jakarta only have malls)
Dan setiap gue liat mereka gue langsung mikir "gue mau kaya mereka"
Tua dan mesra terus sama partnernya, ga peduli udah jadi se kakek-nenek apa gue. Amin, hehehehe.

This contradicts with the opinion of my friend
My friend once said to me "As time flies, love ends. No matter how great your marriage would be, you'll lose it. That's what children are for : to keep your marriage"
Mungkin ada benernya juga, cerai sana-sini buktinya.
But then, begitu gue liat video ini entah kenapa gue ngerasa pendapat itu kalau bisa dilupain aja.
Why think negative when the possitve does exist, right?

Maybe when couples grow older the love doesn't really end, they just find another way to love each other

lovely old couple

favourite couple : Mom and Dad

"They gave each other a smile with a future in it." ~ Ring Lardner

Serendipity

Serendipity. Look for something, find something else, and realize that what you've found is more suited to your needs than what you thought you were looking for.- Lawrence Block

Have you ever watched this movie called Serendipity?  Staring John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale, this movie made in 2001. It was not so popular in Indonesia but was one of the best romance movie I've known after Love Actually, He's Just Not that Into You, and A Walk to Remember.

I write about this movie, because it tells you what signs, faith, destiny could give you. The opportunities, possibilities that can happen or not happen in your life. As it written in my blog's line, it shows you when expectation meets reality.

Quoted from imdb.com ,this is the storyline:

Jonathan Trager and Sara Thomas met while shopping for gloves in New York. Though buying for their respective lovers, the magic was right and a night of Christmas shopping turned into romance. Jon wanted to explore things further but Sara wasn't sure their love was meant to be. They decided to test fate by splitting up and seeing if destiny brought them back together... Many years later, having lost each other that night, both are engaged to be married. Still, neither can shake the need to give fate one last chance to reunite them. Jon enlists the help of his best man to track down the girl he can't forget starting at the store where they met. Sara asks her new age musician fiance for a break before the wedding and, with her best friend in tow, flies from California to New York hoping destiny will bring her soulmate back. Near-misses and classic Shakespearean confusion bring the two close to meeting a number of times but fate will have the final word on whether it was meant to be.

Jonathan: This is the ultimate blend to drink. How'd you find this place?
Sara: I first came in because of the name: Serendipity. It's one of my favorite words.
Jonathan: It is? Why?
Sara: It's such a nice sounding word for what it means: a fortunate accident

The movie begins with Jonathan and Sara accidentally meet in a store and share for a pair of gloves they bought on that store. That night they had a very good time, but when Jonathan asks for Sara's number, she refused. So, she write her number on a book and sell it to a random store, and Jonathan write her number on a dollar bill and spend the bill randomly. Sara believes that if they meant to meet each other again, they'll find out theirselves. Jonathan knows nothing about this girl. He only knows that her name is Sara, and he falls for this interesting girl.

Jonathan: If fate didn't want us to be together, then why did we meet tonight? Got you!
Sara: I don't know, it's not an exact science. It's a feeling.
Jonathan: What if you're wrong? Huh? What if it's all in our hands and you just walk away? No names, no phone numbers, what do you think's gonna happen? Do you think good ol' fate is gonna deliver my information to your doorstep?
Sara: You know, that's the best idea you've had all night.

Sara: Here you go. Write your name and number down.
Jonathan: On this $5 bill?
Sara: Yeah, just do it.
Jonathan: You are a strange and interesting woman

I love the characters in this Movie.

Sara, with her belief in fate. When she already forgot about this Jonathan guy she met in a store and finally engaged with the man she loves, some signs that reminds her about Jonathan just keep coming back to her. Though, she doesn't just sit and wait for the time to come and tell her who will be her future man. She makes some efforts, she acts by the following signs. She flied from California to NY to meet Jonathan until she finally find out that Jonathan could have been getting married.

Sarah: Just have faith

Jonathan: Faith In what?

Sarah: Destiny 

Jonathan: My name is Johnathan, doesn't that make you want to tell me something?

Sarah: Yes, It does. Merry Christmas Johnathan.

Sarah: I'm the man Eve. Staring into the sky, thinking. Not about my fiancee, but about some mystery guy I met a million and a half hours ago. It was only a moment, a fragment really. But it was like, in that moment, we were supposed to be together. That's why I'm here Eve, that's why I'm going to let destiny take me where it wants to. Because when all of this is over, at least I'll never have to think about him again. Let's just hope he's some bald fascist who picks his nose and wipes it under the car seat."

Jonathan, with his realistic way of thinking. He doesn't really buy about such things like destiny, until he meet Sara. One night he found his glove he bought with Sara,he decided that it was a sign to get her back again. He keep looking for other signs, he come to every places related to Sara like the store where they bought gloves, her favorite restaurant, an ice skating park, etc. But then when he just give up searching for sign that is not exist, on the night before his wedding, his fiance give him an old book, exactly the same book where Sara write her number on.

Dean: What's wrong? You all right?
Jonathan: Her name's Sara Thomas.
[ Jonathan hands Dean the book]
Dean: How?
Jonathan: Halley gave it to me as a wedding present.

The moral of the story is:

You know the old saying "Kalau jodoh ngga akan kemana",

For me it's more than that. We don't just find our future partner in a blink of an eye.

There would be pebbles that interferes, survival things, there would be ups and downs until you finally get the happy ending. So, for me.. "Kalau jodoh emang suka dipersulit"

And my saying is not only in the context of love.

It could happen in your career, your hobbies, anything you're reaching to is not necessarily be the best for you.

That's why I believe such things like sign, destiny does exist.

That is what happen when expectation meets reality.

But it would be meaningless if you don't do anything.

When love feels like magic, it's called Destiny. When destiny has a sense of humor, It's called Serendipity

Here it is, watch the Trailer ! :)

I Love Indonesia, Whatever Happens

Today, October 26, 2010
Is obviously not a good day for my Indonesia.

Dimana - mana berita bencana. Bukannya makin membaik, justru bertambah terus

• Gempa Tsunami 7,2 SR di Mentawai, Sumatera Barat. Ratusan korban meninggal, ratusan juga hilang. :(
• Gunung Merapi meletus. Hujan abu ngga ada abisnya. Ribuan warga harus mengungsi, belum lagi korban yang luka bakar :(
• Di Jakarta sendiri, ujan juga ngga ada abisnya. Banjir dimana - mana. Kecelakaan lalu lintas dimana - mana. Macet makin kacau, bahkan kalau cuma dari semanggi ke kuningan aja bisa sampe ngabisin waktu 4 jam di perjalanan.. Namanya udah lumpuh total. :(

Beneran ngeri banget rasanya baca/denger/nonton  liputan berita dimana - mana korban semua.
Gue bukan orang yang bisa cari - cari kesalahan pihak manapun lah itu.
Bukan saatnya marah - marah, mencak - mencak, ngeluh ini itu.
Sekarang lebih baik bantu sebisa mungkin. Bantu doa, alahmdulillah kalau bisa bantu matreri.

Gue disini mengirimkan doa setulus - tulusnya buat semua korban beserta keluarganya.
Semoga keadaan ga perlu makin parah, semoga cepet kembali pulih.
Semoga gue juga bisa dikasih kesempatan buat bantu, dalam bentuk apapun itu.

Ini negara milik semua warganya, bukan milik pemerintah aja.
Jadi kalau ada musibah, ngga bisa nyalahin satu pihak aja.
Cukuplah sikap cuek sama lingkungan sekitar. Harus berubah
for I love Indonesia, whatever happens..

Limit

Bude once said to me:
"cara orang menari itu mereflekskan bagaimana dirinya, bagaimana sikapnya dalam hidup"
I happened to find out something last friday, after I attended my dance rehearsal at DLDC.

So, last friday we practiced our  Javanese traditional dance.
And I kept doing the same mistakes everytime I practiced this Javanese dance.
I didn't open up my bodies, I limit my moves
I limit my hands, my hip, my feet, and all.
It's hard to loosen up yourself when you recognize that you are still in effort to make it as your "comfort zone".
Err, or maybe it's just me..
After all, I find out that I limit myself as much as I limit my moves in dancing.

But still, the hardest part is to change.

Simple Little Kind of Happiness

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."

- Mohandas K. Gandhi 

Today, I randomly remembered this quote.

It was one of my favourite.

Happiness doesn't always comes from great places,it doesn't need lots of money, or some enormous activities. Happiness is everywhere if only we just realized.

Here are list of my 10 simple little kinds of happiness :

1. Having dinner/ lunch with whole family (mama, papa, ka dim)
2. Dance rehearsal, then sharing stories all night long afterward
3. Spending day with best friends, from high school or Kom 07
4. Get some Kue Cubit
5. Get a shower after a tiring long day
6. Accidentally, meeting some old friends
7. Drink hot chocolate
8. Get my favorite song playing in the radio
9. Having heart-to-heart talk with my closest ones
10. Craving for food then get it immadiately

gue sekeluarga

makanan murah meriah terdahsyat

hot chocolate never fails

DLDC Family

best friends from campus

best friends from high school :)

All I wanna say is that happiness, for me, is simply everywhere if we know how to appreciate it.

"If only we'd stop trying to be happy we'd have a pretty good time."- Edith Wharton

Best Regards,

Ega Anandita